Musings on My Wedding Day, 14 Years Later
I got married fourteen years ago today. Fourteen years! It feels kinda weird and surreal to look back at that day, knowing how much has changed since then. Every year my partner and I reminisce about the day and all the things we might change, so I thought it might be fun (and maybe helpful) to share some of these with you so strap in!
Things I Would Change
My Outfit
Boy, has my style changed. When I look at my dress, I see a beautiful and “flattering” outfit that looked great, but if I’m being honest with myself, it wasn’t me at all. That said, I only look back on my outfit with love—at the time, I felt amazing, and it’s that feeling that has stayed with me over the years. It’s a good reminder that weddings reflect who you are right then – and that’s okay! I toyed with the idea of a black dress, and I think that’s what I’d go with now if I were to do it again—plus an outfit change just to be extra!
The Venue
It was good for the three-day celebration we wanted at the time, but it was very no-frills and quite restrictive. Also, I wish (both being born-and-bred Londoners!) that we’d got married in London.
The Photographer
The less said about the photos, the better. He was a lovely man—very patient and made us feel at ease—but photography style really wasn’t something we’d thought about. When it came round to viewing the pictures, it was quite disappointing—especially since now I work with so many amazing, talented photographers on a weekly basis! So I really know what to look for. We do have one or two shots from our wedding that feel like us, and those are the ones I’ve hung onto.
Things I Wouldn’t Change
The Partner
He is still a firm favorite from the day and life in general—lucky, really!
The Makeup
I did my own makeup, and honestly, I’d probably do it again. It is one of the things that I held onto to help make this weird old day feel like me. I had so much fun buying products, and I treated every single day at work as a trial, but in the end, I went for a classic black liner and stained red lip. It was perfectly me and actually still is.
My Body
I always thought if I didn’t lose weight for my wedding, then I would look back on my photos and cry—let me tell you, nothing could be further from the truth. I look at my body with such positivity. I looked great, and I didn’t need to get to a certain size to feel that way. As someone who attends wedding prep weekly, let me tell you that body shaming and “perfect body standards” are still very much the norm in the wedding industry and everywhere. Usually the biggest person in the room, I observe week on week women half my size not wanting to eat or talking about their bodies in such awful ways. Recently, I overheard someone say that they couldn’t finish a whole croissant as it’s such a heavy food. Mate, it could never be me! If we could all take a deep breath and just relax about our bodies, just a little bit.
My Shoes
My white Dr. Martens just made the whole thing feel like me, and I don’t regret it for even a second! I do regret selling them, though.
Some Extra Shit
14 years ago the wedding industry was such a different place - the traditional values were stronger and I've never been one for tradition so I knew I wanted to do things differently but with no guidance I had to make these calls on my own and with very little resources. Some things that I said fuck you too were:
spending the night before away from my husband let's be real how the hell was I supposed to bits sleep without him when we been sleeping together every night for two years?! We necked a Xanax each and slept like babies.
I didn't want traditional bridesmaids dresses so I headed down to take a max and customised some dresses with underskirts to make them look a bit more fun. And although my husband would not wear the same outfit again either we wanted all the groomsmen to wear rainbow cravats it was nothing, we could not source it anywhere!
I didn’t want a fucking one colour colour scheme! Just I just kept it simple with black and white monochrome and threw in bits of colour where possible.
Weddings Are About the Moment, Not Perfection
Even though there are plenty of things I’d do differently now, I still look back on my wedding photos with happiness. That day was a reflection of who we were at the time, and it felt right. As much as styles and preferences evolve, you can’t plan a wedding for the person you’ll be 10 years down the line. You plan it for who you are now.
And honestly? That’s the way it should be. A wedding is like a little life capsule.
Things to Consider for Your Wedding (or Looking Back on Your Own)
Your Guest List Will Evolve Relationships change over time. Some people who felt essential on your guest list may not play a big role in your life a decade later, and that’s okay. Let’s normalise celebrating with only the people who matter most now.
Hair and Makeup Trends Change Looking at photos, it’s easy to spot how much hair and makeup styles have evolved. What’s trendy now might feel dated in a few years, so the best choice is something that makes you feel confident and comfortable in the moment. My advice? Stay true to your everyday go-to style. It’s rare that, as a natural makeup lover, you’ll morph into full glam further down the line. If you go for a style of hair and makeup that doesn’t feel like you, it will be pretty noticeable in your photos.
Wedding Dresses Evolve, Too Wedding dress styles change just like any other fashion. You might look back and think, “Why did I pick that?” but remember: if it made you feel fucking badass on the day, it was the right choice. Your style will evolve so much, so stay true to how you feel most comfortable—because there are still so many “wedding norms” being pushed on us!
Looking back after 14 years, I can confidently say: even with all its imperfections, our wedding was ours – and that, my friends, is something I would never dream of changing.
How do you feel about your wedding day? Would you change anything? Let me know—I’d love to hear your reflections!
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